020 - With Twenty of Money And You

We ring in the new year (and the new flippin’ DECADE for that matter) with “Rush”, a tale of Oscar’s girlfriend, and a celebration of a brave broadcaster:  Mr. Dick Clark. TATTOO MACHINE!

Opening Vignette
Rush Limbaugh assures his audience that he has not had a heart attack and that the US medical system is alive and well.

Opening Audio
Audio Clip - Jive Talk on Airplane.

Music: Alien Ant Farm, "Smooth Criminal"

Segment 1
It's the first show of the new year - nay, the new decade! Oscar says Eff You to 2009, although Mike points out that he has a problem saying that around Carla, given that they were married in 2009.

Mike takes a great deal of glee in informing Robb that his recent meal at Peking Gourmet was comped by Lily herself.

Mike discusses that he ended up with New Year's Eve plans, after all - he and Carla ended up at Jimmy's Old Town Tavern, where Festive Mike did a toast over the PA: you might remember him as something of a famous radio personality....

Segment 2
Mike gives a shout-out to Staff Sgt. Shetter who corresponded with the gang about enjoying the podcast from Baghdad - and also his wife, Erin. This touching vignette reminds Oscar about his own floundering relationship. "Oscar's Girlfriend" arrives to tease Oscar and the guys. Oscar cautions her to use her "earmuffs." So, it turns out that after Oscar's New Year's house party, he and Kara went to a New Year's Day Party, nursing a hangover with mimosa and brunch. Following the party, Oscar, mood varying between lovey-dovey and hammered, walks Kara home. The power couple is dressed for winter: Oscar is wearing a coat over a t-shirt, Kara is wearing a sweater. During the walk, Oscar says to Kara that he can tell she is cold, but he can't give her his coat because then he will get sick, which they can't afford, as he makes more money than she does ... it's simple math. Once home, Oscar passes out for four hours, and wakes to Kara taking down his Christmas Tree "in a symbolic way," still mad about what he said, even though he claims it was just schtick. Oscar's Girlfriend throws a tantrum and has the sniffles. Baby, shhhh.

Buzz updates the gang on Joe Ardinger's situation. Over the weekend, Joe published ominous facebook posts about his lack of electricity and money. Buzz explains that Joe's roommate moved out and shut off the electricity, and Joe was too scared to leave his apartment (lest it be robbed) and go to someone else's house. Mike extends a reluctant invitation for Joe to return to the show for a pizza. Buzz explains that he will be helping Joe to rent a truck and move his belongings to his folks' house.

Audio Vault

 * The Belcher calls WHFS as "Mike," a caller who wonders about the efficacy of liver detoxification, having "spewaked" it.
 * Kathy Griffin misbehaves at the CNN New Year's Eve fest.
 * Dick Clark

Buzz's News

 * A security breach at Newark airport
 * The secret service is investigating the hanging of a Barack Obama effigy in Georgia. (Robb ...?)
 * The "blue cat" movie is still number one.
 * A couple in Georgia has been arrested for giving six of their kids tattoos ... with a "tattoo machine."  Mom, Patty Jo, doesn't understand it. TATTOO MASHEEN!
 * Uganda is pondering easing their punishment for homosexuality to life in prison from execution.
 * Indiana University researchers claim that people who use sex toys are healthier, since they are used to looking around "down there."
 * Jonah Falcon, a man with a 13.5 inch penis, refuses to do porn, even though he is unemployed and has had to move back home with his mom.