B-004 - Bonus Show Episode 4: Oscar's Time

Opening vignette
None, as they have a lot to talk about on today’s show.

Synopsis
The plan is to talk about TV censorship – but the conversation spins almost instantly into a discussion on penis nicknames, including the doohinky, the tinkle and tucosita, and the related demise of the Farrell Ice Cream chain. Oscar relates how he was ALMOST caught playing with his tucosita – many times, and even into his 30s, as he came back home to live with his parents after returning from Arizona.

Robb wonders if the Chinese teenagers jerk off as much as Americans, a remark Mike finds incredibly racist.

Back to Oscar’s story about being caught by his mother with his laptop on his chest and his jeans around his knees. But even at times when he ISN’T living at his parent’s house, he has masturbated to the “good porn” on his home computer. With a quick apology to any listening family members, Oscar relates defiling his father’s beautiful old oak desk and executive chair while watching the password-protected porn he has stored on the family hard-drive.

“Oscar’s Papa" weighs in, wondering what the sticky substance is that has loco glued his paperweight to the desk. Oscar wonders what’s in his papa’s locked drawer.

They wonder if Oscar’s libido exceeds his fear of getting caught, or if he’s just an exhibitionist.

The rest of them were never caught masturbating by their parents – Mike and Buzz were both far too terrified of being caught, and were much more cautious. Mike was busted enough times breaking curfew. He wouldn’t masturbate until he was sure his parents were safely out of the state.

Mike rights the ship and returns to the topic of TV censorship – for example, the evisceration of Casino if it does not air on a premium cable channel. Robb tells about who the original TV edit of Blazing Saddles censors the phrase “up yours” and not the N-word.

They reminisce about how censorship changed the Don and Mike Show, taking away not just adult words, but adult topics, and the chilling effect on radio employees – also, how the censorship was internal, vague and threatening.

To illustrate the paranoid atmosphere of censorship, Mike relates an on-air incident involving Air Force Amy and an engineer at the Cathouse.

Oscar compares that to his less-uptight experiences in Arizona, as illustrated by his ability to say “asshole” and also make an intern eat pot, on the air, as punishment for being a pothead.

Mike returns with another example of how difficult it was to have sex experts on the air – or any kind of titillating content – once the ability to imply masturbation was taken away.

They reminisce about the sexperts of their past – Natasha Terry, Laura Corn, Nora Hayden. In the midst of this discussion, Mike believes he catches RJ falling asleep and banishes him to the kitchen – even though RJ is only reading email, Mike is still pissed, and hurt. WTF!!!

Marc relates how one of his first assignments as an intern for the Don and Mike Show was being sent by Robb to pick up Nora Hayden. Oscar claims that sexperts are bad bookings because they never can really talk about their subject.

In the meanwhile, the censorship on TV – on which the Janet Jackson fiasco originated – remained much less restrictive.

Oscar wants to continue to talk radio and asks how Mike handled difficult on-air guests, and relates a horrifying tale of how he and Chad blew up an in-studio hypnotist’s act.

The discussion ends with great sex scenes in movies. Mike likes Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thorton in Monster’s Ball. Buzz likes The Postman Always Rings Twice. Robb gets a heterosexual ding for choosing the relatively recent Showgirls ’ lap dance scene. Oscar’s are the subway scene in Risky Business and the Matt Dillon-Neve Campbell-Denise Richards threesome in Wild Things.

And Mike concludes: Don’t just look at it – eat it.

Bonus Audio Vault
A class teaching English colloquialisms to Asian speakers.