B-002 - Bonus Show Episode 2: That's Pervy Talent

Opening Vignette
Jackie Stallone’s p-ussy monologues.

Opening audio
Audio clip: Eddie Murphy stand-up on white people not leaving haunted residences in movies.

Music clip: Black Gold – “Detroit”

Summary
Mike surveys the room regarding their reaction to the Jackie Stallone vignette: Marc looked away, Robb stifled chuckles, and Oscar kept muttering “Jesus” in horror.

Mike wants to talk about porn today, and starts with admitting that he lost the password to Oscar’s premium porn sites. But first, Buzz has brought a thumb drive of cartoon porn to illustrate his taste in animated porn and see if it matches Mike’s. Robb and Oscar remain sarcastically dubious, and as they scroll through the images, their attitude is unchanged. Neither of them can get past the thought of the sweaty artist producing these images. Also, Oscar wonders when and where one would view such images as a prelude to masturbation. Robb suggests Buzz’s dungeon.

As they sip their Grand Marnier, they discuss Oscar’s Little Website – how he uses it instead of “paying his taxes (i.e. bedding his girlfriend). Scene: Oscar’s Girlfriend catches Oscar masturbating and begs him to pay his taxes instead of paying for porn sites. To the disbelief of the others, it is clear that Oscar’s sexual relationship with his girlfriend is at a serious low point.

Oscar forges ahead and describes his preferred porn – the High Def professional porn he pays for. The guys complain about “amateur porn,” especially the gross men. Oscar insists that at his sites, the guys are “select guys.” They continue to roundtable about their problems with porn – amateur, “teen” and barely legal, and overly-arty porn. Oscar steers the conversation back toward porn that that people like – looking for reactions to sites such as MILF hunter.com and 40-inches plus. But this only sets Mike off about what he doesn’t like about big-assed women. Buzz, predictably, states it just goes to show that there is something that caters to every proclivity, no matter how weird – like scatlovers.com, whereupon the conversation goes back to sexual turn-offs, the underlying theme of the episode.

Reluctantly, Mike asks Robb what kind of porn he likes – big bushes of the 1800s? They learn Robb has occasionally watched porn with Cary, with mixed results. He admits that he’ll go to Cinemax, at a pinch, although that has as much to do with economy as anything else.

Mike still likes vintage porn. Mike asks Buzz what he likes in porn, but Buzz won’t pin down a particular genre.

Oscar describes the disappointment that is the Kendra Wilkinson sex tape.

Buzz worries about the cycle of needing increasingly graphic imagery in order to be satisfied by porn, and where that cycle will end. They reminisce about their early porn experiences – including transitioning from Playboy to Penthouse. Oscar describes how he used to “hover” instead of petting his high school girlfriends, until a Penthouse video taught him how he was doing it wrong. Mike is focused on admiration and resentment of young Oscar’s studly ways. He and Robb are amazed at the concept of teenage girls begging to be fondled. “What fantasy land is this??!!”

Mike is uncomfortable thinking about teenage girls growing up into a world of sex-crazed boys. They discuss the Fantasy Sex League at nearby private high school, Landon and the problems of kids who grow up in the bubble of private schools.

They end with a discussion on the importance of education - even for a career in radio. Getting a degree gives you options - it also gives you the tools to discuss LIFE. As Buzz says, when you are called upon to speak on air, you are not talking about broadcasting, but about life. When he is asked for advice about broadcasting school, he advises people to get a traditional degree instead.

And that's the Bonus Show: it starts with porn, and ends with a positive message to stay in school. The cunt tape will have to wait until next week....