021 - Twenty One-derful You

“Oscar’s Girlfriend” visits, Mike has a moment of “MANIA”, and the world’s stupidest Wheel of Fortune contestants in the Audio Vault. Muy Beuno!

Opening Vignette
The word association game ends with "Sphincter ... This segment."

Opening Audio
Audio: Roll call on Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Music: Johnny Cougar - "Hurt So Good."

Segment 1
They ponder the strangeness of the passage of time now that their work takes place in the living room - despite the near-zero commute and work hours, he seems to have less time to get anything done. Buzz believes it has to do with doing the podcast in the middle of the day, with small chunks of workable time before and after the show. Oscar starts to explain about facetime with loved ones, and Oscar's Girlfriend shows up to argue and flirt with him.

Mike relates a tale of food mania, which starts with a chili binge, then culminates in bread, weight watchers cake, and the candy drawer. He is being careful to throw away the wrappers of everything along the way. Robb and Mike ponder fat guy eating habits - the secret eating, the combining of foods. Mike continues with his tale - having found the ferrero rocher, he ends the binge by leaving a couple of tell-tale pieces of foil out for Carla to see when she comes home early from work.

Now exhausted with food, Mike wheedles Carla into taking a nap. Carla wakes up refreshed and energized, and Mike wakes up ready to cook a chicken. Carla goes into "nesting' mode and starts cleaning up the house.

Segment 2
Robb wonders if Carla's nesting mode is in response to her anger at his lack of control. Mike explains that Carla believes that he is a "Stage Three Hoarder." Oscar wonders if Mike holds on to his clothes when he slides between sizes.

Mike notices a salsa that has been sent by a hottie listener, and that Buzz pronounces it "salza." Buzz gives an update on Joe - his electricity is back on and some money is on the way. They didn't rent a truck, but he is still moving back to his folks'.

Mike asks Oscar about his "Haitian friend," whom Oscar explains is imaginary and will need explaining later on.

An update on Mike O'Meara Part 2. Or is it Part Two? Girl set up the page and then fled to Canada.

Mike claims that Beth Ann will be a part of the show in a very small way. "So we're giving up," says Robb.

Wait .... the Mike O'Meara Two-Oh page is still up, so that change still needs to be made. Robb suggests Mike Two-Oh-Meara or The Empire Mikes Back.

Mike describes that he has had a sex dream about Christine Lahti, an obscure enough sexual reference - but not only that, but the sexual congress was not perhaps legal in the Commonwealth. It also took place in a hospital setting. This might have to do with all the binging from yesterday, and the expired Sam Walton chicken.

Oscar admires the food "dance" that Mike and Robb do, and Buzz claims that he can relate, because he was once fat himself - a pronouncement that brings down the outrage of the room. Mike claims he might work out today, a pronouncement that brings a moment of silence.

Audio Vault

 * The Belcher calls The Magic Garden radio show and discusses fertilizer.
 * Wheel of Fortune contestants can't pronounce Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa.
 * An awkward Lawrence Welk host introduces "One Toke Over the Line."
 * Bobby Lee reviews Avatar for the paparazzi.

Buzz's News

 * The recession has slowed down even health care spending and costs.
 * Bipartisan posturing on the shoe bomber situation.
 * Barack Obama has appointed a transgendered person for a cabinet position. "Amanda Simpson" tells Mike to chill his bigoted ass out.
 * Harvard researchers have found a link between sexual dysfunction and restless leg syndrome.
 * In Sunrise, Florida, a woman has been hit with $600,000 in fines because she won't clean her house.  She refused offers from Hoarders to help her out, and chased a way a neighbor with a knife who tried to help her.  Said neighbor describes the odor coming from her house as a "mist."